Preface

During Mexico Night Joshua Bae shared his life testimony, which is posted. As a lay missionary he served college ministry in Tepic, Mexico. From 2015 he serves college ministry at Puebla, Mexico.

My Fives Loaves and Two Fish

Key verse: "We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish", they answered. "Bring them here to me," he said. (Mt. 14:17,18)

Contents

Part 1. From a slave to lust to a missionary
Part 2. Failure as a missionary
Part 3. Laying a foundation as a lay missionary for USA
Part 4. Conclusion

Part 1. From a slave to lust to a missionary

I was born on June 6th, 1967, and have two older sisters and one younger brother. Since I was the eldest son, I was loved by the elders among my relatives. My parents worked hard, so I grew up without any financial shortcomings, and I excelled in many ways.

Underneath my good image, however, I fell into lustful desire from an early age after a girl in my neighborhood let me touch her body. I did obscene things, seeking lustful pleasures. At night I would grope my sisters’ body. I spent lots of time reading obscene literature and entertaining lustful fantasies. I was increasingly tired and exhausted, because I was fearful and nervous of being caught on the spot. I was also afraid that people would soon find out and criticize me. However, I could not overcome my lustful desire by myself. In 1985, I entered Dongguk University. Although the campus was beautifully decorated with cherry blossoms and golden bells, I was utterly exhausted and my heart was pitch-dark.

Thanks to UBF shepherds' constant invitation, I began to study the Bible in early 1986. Studying the Bible, I learned that Jesus carried all my dirty sins and died on the cross for me, and by believing in him I could receive salvation. But I was so ashamed of confessing my dirty lustful sins that I could not open my heart. Thus, I thought to myself, 'If I believe in Jesus in a dramatic way like Apostle Paul, then I will feel less shameful.' But trying to believe in Jesus in that way, all kinds of thoughts inundated me, and I suffered from a severe headache. Eventually, I repented of such approach. Instead I simply accepted Jesus' words and decided to obey him. At that time, God appointed me as a messenger for 1990 John's Gospel Bible Academy. I delivered a message about Jesus who helped the Samaritan woman. Through this I confessed all my shameful and lustful sins. Then Jesus granted me the word John 8:11, "Then neither do I condemn you. Go now and leave your life of sin." The moment I heard the word, I found inexplicable peace. All my guilt, shame and fear which had tortured me disappeared at once, and heavenly peace came upon me. I praise the Lord for bearing with me, and giving me forgiveness and peace!

And God called me as a missionary. During the 1989 World Mission Report I felt convicted of being such a selfish sinner through Dr. Samuel Lee's message, and I got angry with myself. While I wrote a testimony, I made the decision to become a missionary and serve God and his flock all my life. Then in March, 1993 I was sent to Columbia as a pioneering missionary.

Part 2. Failure as a missionary

When I was sent to Columbia, I shared my prayer topics: (1) I would earn my living within three months by teaching Taekwondo, (2) I would master Spanish and raise up disciples in one year, and (3) Columbia would be a kingdom of priests like Korea in one hundred years. It was non-sense. But at that time I thought to myself, “If I do my best, I could achieve it all.” In my spiritual ignorance I was full of self-confidence without depending on the Lord. But God has trained me with great patience and established me as a missionary. When I got there, I found that my Taekwondo skills were not enough to make a living. Shepherd Daniel Rhee advised me to start a business. But I insisted on Taekwondo School. I was stressed out after wrestling with my financial hardship, language barrier and visa problem for two years. Finally, I had to return to Korea in March, 1995. One year later, I got married with Shepherdess Esther from Guadalajara, Mexico and was sent to Mexico. However, I did not work humbly with the missionaries there and returned to Korea in early 1997. Despite all my failures and sufferings, however, my self-righteousness and stubbornness still remained. One day when I shared my testimony with Shepherd Daniel Rhee, I said that I was doing well but my sheep Henrik Lee was the problem. Shepherd Daniel rebuked me severely to tears. As a training, I walked to Hannam Bridge and back to the church, like Dr Samuel Lee’s Skokie training. Through the training, I realized that because of my self-righteousness and stubbornness I had failed to learn faith and work with other missionaries, and had no fruit. So I deeply repented.

Part 3. Victory as a missionary

After I repented of my self-righteousness and stubbornness, God sent me to Mexico as a missionary again in October, 1999. From that time on God began to teach me faith through self-support. For five years I changed careers five times: a tailor at a women´s clothes factory, a manager of a clothing store, an interpreter, a Spanish teacher and an acupuncturist. Whenever I had to quit a job, I didn't know what to do. However, God had already prepared a job for me every time! I was spiritually immature. Nonetheless, the more I experienced God's intervention in my life, the more I realized that the living God was with me, guided me and helped me.

When I grew a little in faith, in February, 2008 God moved my family to Tepic in order to pioneer Nayarit State University. Shepherd Daniel Rhee encouraged me to enter the medical school. But the entrance exam was in late April, and I had only one month and a half to prepare for it. Furthermore, several people commented, "I tried again and again for four years, only to fail." I said to my wife, “It's impossible for me to take the exam. Let me try next year.” But Shepherdess Esther rebuked me, saying, "If you postpone, that is not by faith." So I repented and applied to the medical school. The minimum score to pass was about 650. But we prayed that God might give me more than 700 for the sake of his glory. To my surprise, I received ‘702’! The moment I saw the score on the computer monitor, I realized that God was with us and heard our prayers, and I was moved to tears out of gratitude.

However, in fact, on the very morning of the entrance exam I was concerned, “Even if I were to pass the test, how could I do all these things: studying medicine, serving God's ministry, making a living and taking care of my family?” Then God reminded me of the five loaves of bread and two fish (Matthew 14:18). According to this word, I decided to offer the Lord the things I could do, which were my five loaves and two fish, and entrusted the rest to Jesus. During the week days I studied and attended my patients. During the weekend I prepared the message for Sunday worship service and taught acupuncture. After the worship service I resumed studying for school. I lived this way for four years. I had no time to take a rest. But I was free from all kinds of concerns in comparison with other students. Most of all, Jesus blessed my five loaves and two fish and gave me a miraculous victory. When I finished six years of medical courses, my final score was 96.52, which is A++. In addition, I passed the national certificate exam to obtain the medical license. Especially God granted me wisdom and helped me to discover that the limbic system of the human brain and the principle of Yin Yang are the same thing. Also God helped me to learn the relations among the limbic system, the autonomic nervous system, the hormone system and the immune system, and to come up with a creative theory by unifying oriental medicine and western medical science. I have taught it to Mexican doctors, nurses and professors of medicine. In January, 2015 I began to teach it at the faculty of medicine of Nayarit State University. They told me I could open an elective class if there were five students at the minimum. But I had more than 70 students with great interest.

In regards to my financial matters, God helped me to support my family by treating patients as an acupuncturist and giving lectures on acupuncture. In particular, during the 1-year intern training God provided for my needs through Barnabas Choi, Gideon Kim, Isaiah Roh, Timothy Lee, and two other missionaries.

God has also blessed my ministry for students. Some students studied the Bible for several years. But when they got what they wanted, they went away without saying goodbye. But God raised Shepherd Noah as an ancestor of faith among us. He had been possessed by rebellion against his father, and sadness and depression because of his mother’s death, and lustful desire. But studying the Bible with us, he experienced God’s love and his grace of salvation, and his inner man changed completely. He took 1 Peter 2:9 as his key verse, and made a decision to love the Lord more than anything else and to testify to the grace of salvation of the Lord. When he finished Odontology, his eldest brother, who is the chief of internal Medicine service at an important hospital in another city, offered him a job and help to study a specialty in dentistry. But Shepherd Noah turned it down, deciding to stay in Tepic to follow the Lord and to serve the Gospel ministry. And when Missionary Abraham Kim gave us the direction to pioneer the forth great city of Mexico, he didn’t hesitate even a second to make a decision to come with us. God blessed him greatly, and let him get married with Shepherdess Ana Gabriela from Mexico City, who is a woman of faith and sincere servant in God’s ministry.

Also in 2013 when my first daughter Victoria was 16 years old, she received Jesus’ grace of forgiveness during the summer Bible conference. Nowadays every week she shares a graceful testimony to our joy. In addition, my wife Shepherdess Esther recovered joy and conviction in God’s Word, and her desire to preach the Gospel with all her heart, after studying the Bible deeply and serving sheep in Tepic.

Part 4. Conclusion

I could neither learn faith, nor bear fruit because of self-righteousness and pride. But I thank and praise God for bearing with me, training me and teaching me humbleness and faith. I thank God for pouring his marvelous grace and abundant blessings upon my life. In April, 2015 during the Mexico regional conference the Lord gave me the direction to pioneer the fourth great city of Mexico (Puebla) through his servant Missionary Abraham Kim. I am unworthy for God’s work like the five loaves of bread and two fish. Nonetheless I bring my five loaves of bread and two fish to the Lord with all my heart and strength. My Lord may accept this sinner and use me for his great work so that his glory may be revealed.

One word: My five loaves of bread and two fish