Taking the Right Path

I was often lost in my foreign mission land. Although I carefully examined the roads with map, I got into wrong path without notice and often suffered failure. Probably few countries have poor address like Costa Rica. For example, consider several hundred meters to certain direction from a building. There are so many confusions in finding the right path. When roads are confusing, it is common to ask people around about the roads. To my surprise there are few people who know the roads. That is not the end of the problem. Even if they do not know the right path they hardly say that they do not know. Despite the lack of knowledge, they make wild guess and give me direction. When I drive my car according to their direction, I end up taking a wrong path or often circle around repeatedly like a bug. It is still most safe and accurate solution that despite some difficulties at the beginning I pin down my present location according to the map and look for the right path according to the map. The map still gave me troubles when it was inaccurate. Now I have gained much experience. Even if I go to foreign place I can find my destiny easier than before so long as I have a correct map. I thank God.

This sense of failure from looking for a way is not limited to getting lost on the way. I often wandered, not knowing where to go in my journey of life. I still wander. In this mission land where everything is new, living daily itself is a great challenge and adventure. Many things let me feel like an orphan abandoned in foreign place: serving God’s flock with foreign culture and language, raising children with Asperger syndrome and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and maintaining business without any capital. It would help me if I had found a person with more knowledge and experience and depended on him. That was not the case. I still felt that I was lost and circled repeatedly around the same path. I needed the map that would guide my path of life and lead me to the right place. This map was the Bible itself. John 14:6 reads, “Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” The Bible leads us to God through Jesus. That is my path to take. Although I felt like walking through fogs and being surrounded by utter darkness, it was the word of the Bible that has kept me thus far: it became my compass for direction, it was my lighthouse for light and it was my map for the right path.

Five years after I had come to the mission land, I began to write Spanish message, overcoming my short understanding of the Bible and poor Spanish. In order to write message every week I repeatedly read, studied and meditated the Bible wherever I went. As I read and meditated the word, I noticed my sin and the sins of God’s flock, felt the heart of God toward sinners, and was moved to tears because of God’s grace and love. God whom I had felt distant was close to me and was in the word of the Bible. It was my strength, my food and hope that I met God through the word of the Bible. Whenever I delivered the message my wife’s eyes sparkled which used to be out of focus and dozing. My wife confessed that she received grace every week who had never said so during the last five years. Gaining strength, I began to make new Bible study materials and note. I made 12 step study material for beginner and 12 step Bible materials for raising disciples and served missionaries and God’s flock with them. The missionaries were prepared to be a Bible teacher and God’s flock began to study the Bible with clear hope and sense of goal. Those who finished the 12 step materials attended the conference with sincere heart, received God’s word, wrote testimonies with repentance, confessed their sins with tears, and accepted Jesus as their Savior. It was the work of the Holy Spirit in the spiritual barren land, Costa Rica.

I have gradually learned that the word of the Bible is not just for Bible study and Sunday message. I began to imitate the late Samuel who used to cite the Bible, starting “if you read the Bible …” whenever people asked him the secret of mastering haircut and making delicious soup. I struggle to find a direction or way through the Bible in every occasion of my life when I help God’s flock, when I raise children, when I have to solve conflicts with my wife, when I meet a buyer for my business, when I clean house, and when I drive. One day my wife asked, “How do you find an answer whenever we have a problem despite the sheer number of problems we face everywhere?" In fact I had no answer. I do not have an answer. It is probably more accurate to say that I get the answer by solely depending on the word of the Bible.

Last year in 2011 I visited Korea when UBF celebrated the 50th anniversary. My home chapter Kyung-Sung held a discipleship conference. I was responsible for the third lecture (Nehemiah Ch. 8-10) among the four lectures from Nehemiah. Although I had known my responsibility beforehand, I began to study and meditate the passage after I arrived in Korea. During my short stay less than three weeks I had to attend the thanksgiving service for the 50th anniversary, the special seminar for shepherds and missionaries, and take care of my second son David’s surgery. In addition, I could not ignore visiting and having fellowship with my parents whom I had missed for long time. The only available time for preparing message was after midnight. Staying for several nights I prepared my message, reading, meditating and studying Nehemiah. Because of my poor spiritual insight and fatigue it was difficult to digest the passage. Whenever I got stuck during the preparation, I went to and learned from the Holy Spirit like an orphan. I eventually finished my manuscript and gave my lecture. The word of God struck me so hard that I felt as if the past 9 years of missionary life had prepared me for this one lecture. Through the passage I found people who made a great decision to cut off sinful life and live according to the word of the Bible. Reflecting those who made a decision to go back to the essence of the faith – the word of the Bible – through studying the Bible and history, God revealed to me that there was no other way in keeping us pure from secularism, humanism and mammonism. The world looks more and more sophisticated. But the true nature is simple. It seems we need to know more. On the other hand, we overcome the world even if we know one thing. We must live according to the word of God even if heaven collapses, earth explodes, my life appears to end, and whatever my neighbor says.

After I returned to my mission land full of grace and vision, I served winter Bible conference. I was grateful that 9 native shepherds attended the conference that was the highest among the past four conferences. Furthermore, Brother Ernesto was raised as the first lecturer among the native shepherds and delivered the message powerfully yet gracefully. I did not want discount my feeling that finally more students would join the ministry in Costa Rica. One year later that is the 10th year of my mission life, however, only five, half of native shepherds, attended the winter Bible conference. As of writing this essay, only one sister who was invited and attended this year’s conference for the first time has remained faithful. She studies the Bible, writes testimonies and keeps vision to live as a Bible teacher.

Every sheep had his/her own reason to leave my ministry: no time, too much gospel, too little praise, no permission to pray in tongues, desire for free romance and so on. However, the common denominator was clear: They do not want to live according to the Bible and cannot change their lifestyle as the Bible says. Their response was predictable when I thought about their culture and messages. There are so many churches that do not preach the gospel. Messages that highlight blessing and success without repentance flood the pulpit. Our messages in our meeting were strange to their ears that emphasized repentance and repeated the Gospel. People don't bother to read a map although they do not know road. Even if they are in the wrong way, they decide to stay because of the investment made. In some cases, they ask the way to the people around. If we point out that their way is wrong and we suggest that they return to the original place, they feel offended. They would like to hear only good words: Your way is the right way, you have chosen the right way, and everything will be all right if you stay on your path. A pathfinder understands their mentality. So he encourages them to take the path they want instead of guiding them according to the map, saying, “Your way is the way of blessing.” So everybody enter wide road. Although the road to life is narrow and hard, they take the wide road.

I stand again at the crossroads of life. Should I guide people to live according to the Bible, or leave them to follow their own way? One day brother Ernesto told me, “It is easy to gather sheep. They will come if we deliver what they want to hear. We must give up on gathering them if we deliver according to the Bible.” Although he stated the fact, he himself took a wrong path. I wish that more sheep flock around me. I want to hear the Amen my congregation shouts upon my message. Nonetheless I cannot change the word of the Bible for that purpose. I cannot be a hired shepherd who leads sheep to destruction. Even if I am criticized, ignored and ostracized, I must receive the direction from the Bible and guide others with the Bible.

The late Samuel Lee left a testament for us: back to the Bible. If we have to return to the Bible, it implies that we have gone away from the Bible and we are far from the Bible. How often do we read the Bible and listen to the Bible? In any case, we have not come back to the Bible until we understand and interpret it right. Until the word occupies me, guides and controls me, I have not come back to the Bible. Going back to the Bible is the true nature of our ministry that we have neglected – we think according to the word and live according to the Bible.